More tenderness, please

"The finest qualities of our nature, like the bloom on fruits, can be preserved only by the most delicate handling--yet we do not treat ourselves nor one another thus tenderly."  Henry David Thoreau

There is such beauty in the statements of classical philosophers.  I find I need to re-read some of these occasionally to engage my mind and rid myself of the cranky busy-ness of life.  We're bombarded from every direction with noise, and "clanging gongs" that say nothing and inspire even less.  Rare is the TV show that invokes anything but anxiety--anything from endless news shows with their ever-present, scrolling Breaking News, to the eye-glazing boredom of the competition shows, to the frankly puzzling reality shows.  The movie channels, when they aren't showing cable movie dropouts, or straight-to-video dreck, are worthwhile, but even those can hypnotize one into a stupor that is hardly relaxing.

Driving to and from work is also often a miserable endeavor.  My commute isn't bad compared to some, but still I must dodge interstate tractor trailers, pokey drivers and speed demons who race up behind me and spatter rock chips against my windshield.  And then there's the inevitable unsecured load, flapping in the breeze.  The rickety trailer, piled high, Beverly Hillbilly style, with papers, soda cans, peculiar black things and various other flopsam flying off the back.  I usually accelerate to 80 to pass the jerk, hoping a police officer will understand my excuse if I happen to jet past a speed trap.

And in the news, everywhere, people are screaming at each other, stabbing the air, foaming in apoplectic fits.  It simply isn't necessary--it doesn't emphasize a point, it's tiresome pure and simple, and denotes nothing but ignorance and last gasp effort.  Uncouth.  I remember when that was a word.  But now, it's considered uncouth to point out uncouthness.  Grace and poise, while always effective, are rarely practiced and are considered quaint, like an antique flower vase.  Grace and poise don't get you a reality show.  Tenderness gets you even less.

But, oh, I think tenderness can give you so much more.  Tenderness with oneself and others can free the mind, and quiet it.  You feel open to discovery, to introspection and to charity.  Life can be more than a frantic jumping through pre-conceived hoops.

On the other hand, when faced with non-tenderness from any source, whether by cyberbullies or garden variety bullies, nothing beats the good old adage, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me."  Learn it, live it, own it and it can go a long way to save you grief, and possibly even your life.